It's almost the end of the year and an appropriate time to look forward to a most thrilling and hopefully, less challenging year for me. While I have braced myself to face the future with remarkable optimism, I find it necessary to look back on the happenings of the last twelve months and find out how they have affected my life and my relationships.
Birthday anniversaries come and go with so much fun with family, relatives and friends. Somehow with the adding of years, come an unspeakable sense of family love that grow deeper, stronger almost to the extent of being overcome with fear of helplessly losing that filial oneness at any unexpected moment. I felt an eagerness for being with family more often and sometimes failed to make myself realize that my children's lives are now more bound by their own ever-growing family web which is of primordial importance. It took some effort on my part to accept the fact that finally, I have now only become an appendage, sometimes, I am afraid, a real burden to them. I must confess that I had been so lonely at times!
The trip to Paris and Lourdes last June with my grandchildren, Michael and Christian and my son, Bobby and Carla was a most exciting one. Equally memorable was the pilgrimage to the same destinations- Paris and Lourdes-with Joshua, Christina and Tiffany Anne in 2009. Can you imagine a 78-year old woman roaming the streets of Paris with three children then? So far, I am happy and grateful that I have fulfilled my promise to give as gift for any grandchild graduating from Grade VIII the thrill of seeing the fabled City of Paris. The City of Light has so much religious significance because at 140 Rue de Bac, Convent of the Daughters of Charity, our Blessed Mother appeared to Saint Catherine Laboure in July, 1830 and gave instructions on the Miraculous Medal. I felt good showing my family the incorrupt body of St Catherine Laboure and also that of St. Vincent de Paul in the Church of Lazarites on Rue de Sevres. I knew that the experience strengthened their faith in God... that God exists! I was happy to have taken them to Lourdes where Our Lady appeared to St. Bernadette 18 times in 1858. Since then the place has been a a sanctuary visited by more than seven million pilgrims every year. The powerful sense of awe at Lourdes is in its atmosphere that is felt but remains undescribable with its afternoon Blessing of the Sick and the heartwarming nightly procession. I am consoled by the thought that the Lourdes experience will seep through their young hearts and psyche thus deepening their faith and strengthening it as they grow up in the midst of a modern but fractured world.
Growing older and enjoying the blessing of age is something I am most grateful for to our Almighty, the Giver of life! As such, I feel that my relationship with my God has grown into phenomenal heights! But there were also times this year when my faith was tested to such unthinkable pressure that signs of desperation crept in surreptitiously. It was most evident in times of illness when the anxiety over one's inability to finish a number of desired tasks became apparent. As of now, I am suffering from a very bad cold and cough that has robbed me of energy and zest for life. It all began right after Christmas and my constant coughing has really weakened me a lot. I am afraid I might not make it to the New Year! Leaving behind a multitude of problems to my loved ones is something I truly detest and such fear has overwhelmed me to unknown heights. I don't know why but somehow it seems that I have allowed my faith on "everything will work out good for those who love the Lord" to slowly slip away so that the feeling of helplessness added more misery to my aching body. As always, God sends relief. Yes, God's Word, the Bible is the Way and the Truth that lights our way! I sought and found solace in it. Now, do you ever wonder why I often say that one should know Jesus through His Word - the Holy Bible? To me and it should be for everyone else, the Bible is The Guide towards Life! It is the compass that directs our way - our thoughts and our deeds.
Oh..oh... I need to make an appointment with my doctor. He is also God's instrument for my healing!
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Thursday, December 30, 2010
Sunday, December 12, 2010
December 12, 2010 - GAUDETE SUNDAYt
Today is the Third Sunday of Advent which is also called Gaudete Sunday or Rejoice Sunday. Gaudete is the Latin word for "Rejoice" the first word of the Introit or Entrance Prayer at Mass. Officiating priests at Mass wear rose-colored vestments signifying the joy of believers as they come halfway through the Advent Season anticipating the birth of our Savior.
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